4 Recipes with 4 Ingredients You Probably Have

1. Snickerdoodles

(a box of yellow cake mix, 2 eggs, a 1/4 cup of oil, and cinnamon/sugar)

Throw that shit in a bowl and mix it with a rubber spatula - it's pretty sticky so your arm is going to hurt in a minute or so but keep going, they'll blow your mind. Set your oven for 375 degrees, roll them into 1 or 1 1/2 inch balls, drop 'em in your cinnamon sugar mix and bake them for 8-10 minutes. HOT DAMN, thank me later.

Any flavor cake mix works, mix up the flavors, the toppings, go crazy.

2. Hangover Helper

(an avocado, 2 eggs, salt/pepper, sriracha)

Set your oven for 400 degrees first because it takes forever to heat up. Cut the avocado in half without losing a finger (I cut myself every time), remove the seed, blah, blah, blah - typical avocado prep. Now with each half you want to make the hole a little bigger, large enough to fit an egg. Scoop out the goop, shove it in your mouth and then load up each half with salt and pepper. Crack an egg into each hole, make sure the avocados are balanced pretty well or the eggs will topple to floor and your dog will eat them which probably isn't good. Put those bad boys on a cookie sheet and in the oven for a good 20 minutes. The last minute or so you want to keep an eye on them, careful not to overcook the eggs. Pour as much sriracha as you can handle on top and BOOM, you're good as new. Also good luck doing this hung-over it SUCKS.

3. ...Zesty.... Mangos

(a mango, Sriracha, a lime, a plastic baggy)

I don't know what to call these and I can't take credit for them but they're amazing. Thank you to the Salvadorian people in my life for this one (yes you, and you). Peel the mango, cut it - this took me forever to get right but once you get the fruit out (finally) without losing your hand and/or breaking the knife, throw it in the plastic bag, squeeze the lime(s) over top, then the Sriracha. Blast Drunk in Love, put on that sequin Tom Ford dress you definitely don't have and shake the hell out of that bag. Grab a fork and enjoy. Share if you want but I wouldn't.

4.  Toast..just Toast

(an avocado, a lime, sriracha, an egg)

I'm not counting the toast itself because that makes five ingredients, sue me. And by now you should know I'm a big fan on sriracha, and avocados, and they're the two things I always have. Now, toast the bread, obviously. Get the hearty whole grain kind so it can hold everything you're about to put on top. Mix the avocado, lime, sriracha, and slab as much on the bread that fits. I always make a fried egg and put it on top - and those are very tricky. But, I'm about to change your life. Read closely. CLOSER. Butter a small pan, turn the flame on low, crack the egg, and cook it until you see a layer of solid white under the egg, then throw the whole thing in the oven (325-350 degrees will do) for a few minutes and you have a PERFECT EGG. Yes, you can put pans in the oven, just don't forget how hot it is when you try to pull it out. Again, you're welcome.

And, here's a 35mm of Cous on a random roll of film I just got developed. What a character, really. I know you don't care but LOOK HOW CUTE.